Meditation

"Where can I get some reading materials for my friend? He is in a hospital." The friend asked the book seller.

"Go down the aisle three left shelves, religious books are there."

"No, he is recovering!"

There is no cause for meditation unless is sick. Thy name is fear. There is no need for meditation unless one is afraid. They are not friends but enemies. Very few weeks to find and seek permanent separation the in separable pair.

I do not wish to meditate ever in my life. I am looking for a bride young beautiful and loving. I have related about a social media internet giant removed all my blogs saying that is against general belief. They are correct even though I was not any friend of their two billion worldwide society. They found me out from their very big data tables!

I write in internet and I am not found out is impossible. The monsters are living god!

I am not a pendulum swinging nonstop between fear and meditation. What really is the gravity that my pendulum to swing? I cannot turn my clock to past. I cannot turn my clock in the future. I wish and I am oscillating.

Tautology. 

Tautology is never the self. Self alone is the truth that runs the world nonstop without a pause of a nano ... nano second. Nothing could ever happen in the world without Self's nod.  I alone is the root cause of miserable not stop swinging. I do not wish to be myself.

I could not break the sequence 72 years. Love and disappointment. I am at mercy of tautology. Love is disappointment.

I cannot change the world. I am afraid of mySelf. Anything else is okay but not without love for myself alone. My misery me. I am wearing too many armour for my protection in order to be not me, anyone else but me. I am too uncomfortable with protecting armour for my comfort.

I am denied permission to complain of grieve to even one person, even one time, of any of eight billions of the world in the timeline. Let all eight billion be, but I do not wish to be.

My Self is in absolute and final control of the world and none else, not even leaf moves without his knowledge. My heart cannot beat even a single time. I cannot think a thought unless it is done by self. I see all as is but I am not. I cannot go back even one moment I wish so. I am pushed back to self. My pendulum swings. Self gravity of unlimited. The truth.

I am a ghost that writes time.

This much I know. There is no meditation but getting rid of all characters from my life. There shall be any. Meditation is no more no further meditation. 

Tautology, I am not afraid. I do not meditate. I do not prevent. I do not prepare. I am not worried. I am not curious. I trust self. I do not expect. I do know...Truth wins always. I cannot change the world. False is false always. No one can change any in the world.

I have to bear. It is not painful. I am positive.